Comments on: In Defense of Sarah Palin http://www.rifestorch.com/index.php/2008/09/03/in-defense-of-sarah-palin/ Sean Rife blathers on about politics, philosophy, and other randomness Thu, 02 Sep 2010 11:28:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Tim Rife http://www.rifestorch.com/index.php/2008/09/03/in-defense-of-sarah-palin/comment-page-1/#comment-15070 Tim Rife Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:28:47 +0000 http://www.rifestorch.com/?p=453#comment-15070 An excellent defense of Governor Palin. Now, let's tot up her positives -- from a strictly political and, therefore, highly-elevated plane. 1. Sarah Palin is CUTE!!! The glasses are critical. Anyone who suggests she trade them in for contacts should be FIRED!! They give her a kind of "Marion-the Librarian" look -- somewhat plain and conventional on the outside, but suggesting a red-hot ball of passion on the inside. When she piles her hair up on her head it only furthers that image, because when she lets her hair down; it's DYNAMITE!! 2. She came in # 2 in a Miss Alaska competition and was voted Miss Congeniality. Sandra Bullock did that once, didn't she? 3. She belongs to the NRA and there's a photo/tape of her shooting an awesome gun. OH! MY! GOD! Is there anything sexier than a beautiful woman wielding a high-powered weapon? 3. Compare her to Hillary Clinton or -- even worse -- Geraldine Ferraro. NO CONTEST!! The "angry white male" vote is assured; along with the disinterested, lazy, pleasant and horny white male vote. Those of a more cerebral nature will select a candidate based on other criteria, but let's be crystal-clear on one point. When it comes to selecting women, John McCain is -- like -- a GOD. In addition to his veep selection, John married a smart, beautiful blond with big headlights and a BEER DISTRIBUTORSHIP!! Obama can FORGET the youth vote! I see voter registration keggers being held on college campuses across the country. How many women who supported Hillary for purely gender reasons will add their support to McCain-Palin? They are LEGION! The only woman in sight is Sarah and her anti-abortion, pro-gun stance will not deter them because, for them, sexual equipment is EVERYTHING and ideas are nothing. They will flock to her banner. McCain has gone a long way to assuage the idiot sensibilities of the Evangelicals. Sarah is an almost-Pentacostal and that wing of the GOP is hereby brought back to the fold. She's got five kids and one of them is carrying a baby and will not abort it! What a message! And consider the future. The wife of Bill "weenie-waggler" Clinton might confront Sarah in a future Presidential election. Hilary will be OO-LL-DD and Sarah will still be "handsome". The safety and security of the Republic is assured. An excellent defense of Governor Palin. Now, let’s tot up her positives — from a strictly political and, therefore, highly-elevated plane.

1. Sarah Palin is CUTE!!! The glasses are critical. Anyone who suggests she trade them in for contacts should be FIRED!! They give her a kind of “Marion-the Librarian” look — somewhat plain and conventional on the outside, but suggesting a red-hot ball of passion on the inside. When she piles her hair up on her head it only furthers that image, because when she lets her hair down; it’s DYNAMITE!!

2. She came in # 2 in a Miss Alaska competition and was voted Miss Congeniality. Sandra Bullock did that once, didn’t she?

3. She belongs to the NRA and there’s a photo/tape of her shooting an awesome gun.

OH!
MY!
GOD!

Is there anything sexier than a beautiful woman wielding a high-powered weapon?

3. Compare her to Hillary Clinton or — even worse — Geraldine Ferraro. NO CONTEST!! The “angry white male” vote is assured; along with the disinterested, lazy, pleasant and horny white male vote. Those of a more cerebral nature will select a candidate based on other criteria, but let’s be crystal-clear on one point.

When it comes to selecting women, John McCain is — like — a GOD. In addition to his veep selection, John married a smart, beautiful blond with big headlights and a BEER DISTRIBUTORSHIP!! Obama can FORGET the youth vote! I see voter registration keggers being held on college campuses across the country.

How many women who supported Hillary for purely gender reasons will add their support to McCain-Palin? They are LEGION! The only woman in sight is Sarah and her anti-abortion, pro-gun stance will not deter them because, for them, sexual equipment is EVERYTHING and ideas are nothing. They will flock to her banner.

McCain has gone a long way to assuage the idiot sensibilities of the Evangelicals. Sarah is an almost-Pentacostal and that wing of the GOP is hereby brought back to the fold. She’s got five kids and one of them is carrying a baby and will not abort it! What a message!

And consider the future. The wife of Bill “weenie-waggler” Clinton might confront Sarah in a future Presidential election. Hilary will be OO-LL-DD and Sarah will still be “handsome”.

The safety and security of the Republic is assured.

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