Michael Jackson, that is. At least, I find it unlikely.

Nevertheless, New York Representative Peter King wants to know if I would let my (hypothetical) child spend time in a room alone with Jackson. The answer is certainly no, but that is due to a general policy I have about not allowing my future progeny to spend any time alone with any adult I don’t know very, very well (call me crazy).

The fact that Jackson might be more likely than other to extend such an invitation means he was a weird guy. I recognize that. However, I also recognize that a child’s testimony is – to put it mildly – of questionable veracity. The fact is that children lie, and for reasons failing to even approach the nobility of those offered by adults: “I would like to stop answering this stupid lawyer’s questions and go play Super Mario Kart” is just one example.

Children like to please adults, so when certain adults with Juris Doctorates pepper them with silly questions about who touched whom, when and where, etc., they tend toward answering in the affirmative, regardless of whether or not their answer is actually true. This seems silly and overly simplistic (and there is little doubt that, once their moral development has advanced significantly, an adolescent will begin lying with much more sophistication and advanced motivation), but it has been scientifically verified.

So chock one up for psychological science’s relevance to current events! You too may now mourn the death of the King of Pop without reservation.

May he rest in peace.